When a couple is planning on getting married, they tend to ask a lot of questions from other successfully married couples. They’re seeking wisdom and knowledge that will serve to answer one simple question:
“Are we ready to get married?”
They want to be prepared for what’s to come so that they can insure a healthy, long-lasting union that will bless them and their future children.
However, that hunger for wisdom and knowledge tends to quickly taper off once they’re married. It’s easy to become complacent and simply go through the motions, day after day.
You know, divorce is not something that a couple decides overnight. It’s an ongoing process… many little things adding up over the years to eventually bring them to a scenario that they never thought they would face.
So let’s talk about some keys to doing marriage well.
Demonstrate Your Love For Your Spouse
This is very easily done when dating or planning for your wedding and honeymoon. You’re excited… the relationship is new and adventurous. You’re looking forward to the prospect of what the future may bring.
But often after being married for a few years, couples tend to fall into a rut. They get caught up in the daily routines and that’s when they lose the momentum and passion they used to have for each other.
So you need to make a conscious effort to show your spouse how you feel. Set aside some time once or twice a month that is devoted ONLY to demonstrating your love for one another.
Remember, love is a choice. It takes work and when you choose to stop doing the work, the spark can fade.
Work Together On Your Finances
Money is the most common source of divorce or money fights among couples. Let’s face it… money can be a tough subject. But when you get married, what’s yours is now also your spouse’s.
You wouldn’t let just anyone take care of your finances would you? You need to work together as man and wife to insure that both of your dreams and needs are met.
Set aside some time once a week to work out your budget as a team. Discuss how much money needs to go where to meet your immediate needs as individuals. Discuss your dreams as a couple and start planning to meet those dreams.
You may find some value in these articles, which discuss achieving financial peace as a married couple.
Dave Ramsey is also a very qualified source for learning how to handle money with wisdom. He has a lot of experience in counseling married couples on the subject of money.
Never Stop Seeking Wisdom
Create relationships with older couples who have been successfully married for a long time. You will pick up tidbits about how to be happily married just by spending time with these couples.
When they offer advice, listen to them with an open mind and be ready to discuss that with your spouse.
Tony Robbins says, “Find someone who has achieved what you want to achieve and then do what they do.”
If you do the same things as other happy couples, then there’s a very good chance that you will also cultivate a healthy marriage.
Does Your Faith Line Up?
If you are a devout Christian and your spouse wants nothing to do with the Church, then you will likely face difficult times ahead. It may have worked well when you were dating and it will probably work for the first few years of your marriage.
But when you start having children, your faith can be a devastating divider. It’s a good idea to find someone who is on the same page as you in regards to your faith… or at least a real work in progress.
At the end of the day, you just need to keep that spark alive. Be careful to not fall into a boring, mundane routine. Find reasons on a regular basis to celebrate the fact that you’re still together.
Take care of yourself and take care of each other.