Finding That Special Someone

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Something that all people long for is connection. We all want to have that special someone that we can really connect with. Someone that we can really trust with every fiber in our being.

It may not be something that you’re willing to admit in the stage of life you’re in right now, but you will. Eventually.

Having somebody in your life that you can share EVERYTHING with is truly powerful and can provide a sense of peace like nothing else.

Imagine having someone in your life that knows everything about you. I mean everything… that may be an uncomfortable thought, but you will never again have this feeling of panic when that person says, “So I just found something out about you…”

Because you KNOW that this person already knows all of your secrets.

But let’s be real.

Finding that special someone is not easy. Some people get lucky, sure, but there are others who have to face years of loneliness and heartbreak before ever finding that person.

Sadly, there are those who never find this person.

So I’d like to talk about some things that you must embrace if you want to find this person and actually end up together.

You may also want to check out this website if you are looking for relationship advice from a couple who has a TON of real life experience.

Leave Your Ego Behind

Whether you’re a man or woman, this is something that we all struggle with, right? You want to be recognized for your accomplishments. And when you don’t get that recognition, you tend to start bragging.

Am I right, or is it just me?

The temptation to exalt yourself will probably always be there, but you must let it go if you want to connect with someone on a deep level. Nobody likes a bragger.

Get Out Of Your Head

Have you been hurt in the past? I think it’s fair to say, YES! We’ve all been hurt, but you can not focus on this forever. Stop over thinking every little thing.

So, your date just crossed her legs and is now facing away from you slightly?

Does this mean she doesn’t like you? She wants you to drop her off at home early? You’re boring her?

Hey, probably not! She was probably just uncomfortable and felt like adjusting her seating position.

As soon as you let these tiny minuscule details bother you, you’ve lost. You will be unable to focus on the here and now.

Be Present

boyfriend and girlfriendI know, this is easier said than done sometimes. You may have had a rough day at work. Maybe there’s some drama in your family that you’re thinking about.

But you need to really put in an effort to focus on your “honey” or she will start to wonder what’s going on with you.

She might feel like she’s boring you… when in reality it has nothing to do with her!

You decided to be with this person, or go on this date… it’s up to you to actually BE THERE!

Let Go Of The Past

We’ve already established you’ve probably been hurt in the past. But it might be time to just let it go.

Yes, there is a time for healing… but that time should not last the rest of your life!

If you’ve had your heart broken in the past, you need to understand that not everyone is like your ex.

STOP comparing everyone to your ex. Let it go. Start fresh. Be free, and be at peace.

Relinquish Control

We all want to be in control. Let’s face it… whether you’re a man or woman, we long for certainty. We want to KNOW what’s going to happen to us in the future.

But in reality, would that not be a boring life?

Not knowing everything is going to be OK… It can bring excitement, which is something that can really help a relationship to flourish.

You must be OK with not being in complete control. Take a breath. Go with the flow and enjoy yourself!

Find Some Common Ground

You don’t need to find a partner who is EXACTLY like you. Truly, such a person does not exist and if that’s what you’re waiting for, you’re doomed to be alone.

However, if you try to date someone who has absolutely nothing in common with you, it’s going to be tough.

Find something that you and your “honey” are both passionate about. Something that you can bond over and agree on.

And with time, as your relationship matures, you’ll find that your passions will start to mesh. Spend enough time with one person, you will start to develop similar habits, beliefs, and even mannerisms.

It’s a beautiful process.

Make Your “Honey” A Priority

You can not have a healthy relationship with someone if you only want to spend time with her when you’re lonely.

When everything else is done and there’s nothing better to do…

SHE needs to be number one. And she needs to know it and feel it.

Don’t get out of hand with this. If you’ve been on one date, don’t tell her that she’s your everything and you would drop everything for her.

That’s creepy.

But as you guys move forward in your relationship and you get stronger as a couple, she needs to come first. Above you going out all night with the boys. Above your hobbies. Even above your career.

If you can give up the girl for a job that pays a bit more, then you’ve not found the right girl.



You knew this was coming, right? Everyone always talks about compromising in a relationship.

That’s because it’s true! You can’t have everything your way.

If your date really does not want to go fishing with you, then don’t make her! Find something that you both love doing.

You should even be willing to do something that you DON’T want to do… if she wants to do it.

You will find that if you have this attitude, she might even be willing to come fishing with you some day.

Who knows, she might even enjoy it!

In the end, growing together in a relationship is not about “putting your foot down” and doing things in a particular way.

It’s about working together to grow as individual people and as a strong couple.

Learn How To Appreciate Someone

Stop wishing for your “honey” to be something that she’s not. You need to learn to love her for who she is.

Appreciate her strengths and weaknesses.

You’ll probably find that she makes up for your weaknesses. And vice versa.

Trust Yourself

Of course, you have to learn how to trust the one you’re in a relationship with… but you also need to learn how to trust yourself.

Maybe you’ve messed things up in the past. But again, get out of your own head.

Just be present and trust yourself. Trust your judgement. Sometimes you just need to follow your gut.

Learn To Love YOU

Let’s face it. If you do not like who you are, how will anyone else like who you are?

Before you become too obsessed with finding that special someone, it’s important to take care of yourself.

This way, you can be the strong, confident individual that your future lover is looking for.


You need to be willing to talk about what’s going on in your head. Don’t just let things fester in there.

In the end, what’s in your head WILL eventually come out. And if you keep it in there too long, it may come out in a way that will do irreparable damage.

Be willing to communicate openly so that you can avoid a bunch of small problems morphing into one monster of a problem.

Be Silly!

This may not be your personality, but it’s important to have fun. If you’re having fun, then it’s nearly impossible for your partner to not have fun.

Stop being such a Debbie Downer. Enjoy life, and have fun spending time with your partner.

Be Willing To Fix Things

We live in a culture where things don’t get fixed anymore. If it’s broken, we throw it out and get a new one.

This might work when it comes to economics, but it is not healthy when it comes relationships.

If there’s a problem, be willing to talk it through and fix it! Don’t just throw in the towel and move on to the next girl.

Sure, there are times when things simply don’t work out.

But when you just quit without a fight, who knows what kind of beautiful future you might be throwing away?

In Conclusion

I know, dating is hard. Ask me how I know!

But I am fully confident that if you follow the advice in this article, you won’t believe where life will have taken you 10 years from now.

With all that being said, do you have any thoughts? Is there anything that I left out? Got questions?

Feel free to leave a comment below and share with the rest of us.

Signing off,


    1. Post
      Elwin Leos

      Aldon you gotta realize your own self worth. A lot of times we as guys tend to associate our self worth with being able to find a girl… but that is a completely false sense of self worth. Figure out how to enjoy life WITHOUT being in a relationship. What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? Start doing some of those things and get involved in your local community. Meet people, hang out with friends, enjoy life! Blessings will come when you learn to enjoy your life 🙂 Stay strong!

  1. Becky

    I’ve been looking for a guy for a long time now at least it feels like a long time. I want to find someone that is a Christian but all the guys I meet just are looking to have a casual relationship. Do you have any advice?

    1. Post
      Elwin Leos

      One of the biggest things that I can tell you is that before you find a guy to date, you should be happy with YOU first. A person can be fully “complete” without being in a relationship. Nothing wrong with wanting to have that connection with someone but you have to love yourself first before you’ll be able to put your best foot forward in a relationship. Also when you’re OK with who YOU are, you will choose a guy differently. And you may even find that you start to attract exactly the kind of man that you’re looking for 😉

  2. Shiela

    My ex bf cheated on me and I can’t seem to trust any men now. How can I get past this and move on?

    1. Post
      Elwin Leos

      I think you need to take a little bit of time for yourself. Don’t try to find a relationship… take the pressure off! Feel free to chat and flirt with guys but for now, don’t do it with the intentions of dating. You need to realize that not all guys are like your ex. Yes, there are jerks out there but you have to stop comparing every guy to your ex! The truth is, it’s gonna take some time for that wound to heal over.

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